I dunno if ive made the correct decision
ive been thinking bout this decision for years, for months, almost everyday till it almost drive me crazy
n i’ve always insist on one answer
clean n forget it
it has always been the answer i will give if it happens
let god decide if the decision i made just now be good or bad
if it’s a wrong one, pls punish
if its a correct one, please give ur blessing
im really really really v hurt n sad
my heart broke into a million pieces
i cant glue it back
i knew this day will arrive, i just didnt expect it now
NOW was the time my trust began to build n build
i havent been touching the hp for 1 week plus
such a record
i foreced myself not to, to ask myself to build in more trust
i trust that what come, will always come
just like the time
it came, without me expecting it
i couldnt take e blow.
im at loss i dunno what to do
i stare down at my phone, feeling the time has stopped for millions seconds
my heart stopped beating, until i regain conciousness
then i realised im hurt
everyone knows how mcuh ffort i put in
how much i’ve done
just to make it going on
how many chances ive given
how much tears i’ve watered, it is enough to fill a reservoir
how many times my heart has been stabbed
i dunno if im really stupid, like what ha always says
if im really stupid to be so nice n so well done about it
at least i feel im already v nice in my eyes
i have to curb with the heartache n walk everydya n pretend nth had happened
n keep assuring myself yes, he loves me truely
yes, he will not do it
i keep repeating that in my mind
i really forced myself to believe in that although so many things have happened
its like im walking in a desert
hot blazing sun, endless roads, furious sand storms, sometimes quick sand
but i stil lhavent given up
i continues to walk on
although u may thinkim being overly reacted here
i have to tell you, please come n rty it yourself
i bet you cant even last more than 3 months
now my feet are getting tired im dying of thirst my mind is bursting, however i still think i should give it one last push
for my heart is still there
i dont wish to become a lunatic
i dont wish to become the wan jun in 2002-2003
i dont wish for anything like that to happen
anymore lies n i’ll mark my words
i promise myself i will not torture myself anymore
its more than enough
-tata-