i am stupid
i am stupid
dont u know
dont u know
well, i really feel stupid
really vey very very very damn bloody stupid
hai
i was reading my past blogs, i read them thru n went thru the photos once
then i realise im so much happier in the past
my postings are getting mre n more boring n sad
its not me i feel
n i realise i’ve written this word "mao" on lots of my posts
haha! be honoured that ur "name" appears most of the time
i think i think i think
i dunno what else to think anymore
i just miss being the old me
the one full of sunshine, craps n nonsense
the one who can cry when she cant get any balloons n smile like mad when she have 4 balloons covering her tiny face
the one who have no financial problems n if free to be wherever she wants n do whatever she feels like doing
the one who loves going out n soak herself in sunshine n the atmosphere of people around her
the one who loves laughing like mad whenever shes sees something only she thinks is funny
the one who will always think the world is such a pretty place n everyone else is so nice n warm n there will always be colours
the one who likes to make people laugh, esp miss valerie. u dunno how much efforts she puts just to make u laugh
the one who is free from hurt, she yearns for full true love n falling in love itself, not the guy
the one who always dreams of perfect places n person to be
i miss the one
i really do miss the one
however, sadly to say say, i just cant bring her back to life
how many times have i repeated that i miss her n i wan to bring her back to life?
how many times have i told myself that i will be someone better n better each n everyday
how many times have i told myself never to expect anything in return?
its been upteen times since i undergo self hypnosis.
when is the day i willing to let everthing go?
when is the day i bear to hurt myself for the better sake of the future?
im stupid enough to torture myself n yet not able to let myself go
who in the worlsd is so stupid like me?
im stupid, yes, i really am
i feel sad? anger? hunger? bored? hurt?
i guess im almost numb
-tata-